According to one of the famous psychologists I respect, love is just our first emotion toward our parents which we are trying to experience again periodically during our life.
It seems that everyone dreams about the same things: for women, it’s the strong prince, kind and understanding, and confident in himself; for men, it’s the sexy hostess fragile, domestic, and with large breasts. But in real life, people build relationships, sleep, and create families with completely different people than in their dreams. Why does this happen? The brain wants one thing, and the libido, another.
Libido stems from all the experiences of childhood and adolescent impressions, pictures, emotions, and suffering. And all of these are hidden deep in the subconscious. On the surface, people see things like the shape of her nails…his earlobe… her skin color, and the shape of the chest… his hands … These seem to be such obvious signs and specific parameters, but in fact, everything is much more complicated and incomprehensible.
And yet, if we had a set of keys to people’s subconscious in a nonjudgmental environment, where everyone loved and respected each other, then the libido would never choose a “negative hero”. Out of a thousand, you would recognize the person who could give you everything that you want and need. But if you have an imprint left by bad events, shocking and unpleasant details, and these are firmly connected with a painful attachment to parents and with a thirst for love and warmth, suffering is inevitable. But you can change the formed stereotype of your libido and attract the right people!